Dear Mommy,

HAPPY MOMMY'S DAY!

Papa's the luckiest man on earth.

It's just unfortunate that your fat, bimbotic daughter can be such a pain in the ass sometimes.

That's why your kind, loving, down-to-earth son is there to make up for it =)

Have you wished your mom today yet, people?

I know I haven't -____-

*goes to call*

Not to brag, but this post is exactly at 12am =p